Nobody likes you when you're 23.

 Many people always criticize the life of a model. How easy it must be to just take pictures all day, to just stand and pose in front of a camera, to just look beautiful all day… but it is really not as pretty as it seems. I came into the modeling scene somewhat clueless. I mean, I understood and accepted the struggles I would come encounter with, especially in regards to the expectations that this industry has for models. When I started getting critiqued more and more as the days went on by fellow models & professional photographers, I had to constantly remind myself that I came into this with a purpose. 

There was a cause to this madness I got myself in. "Redefining beauty, defeating the standards", I kept telling myself. No matter how annoying it got to hear it over and over again, it was my motivation to shake off the hurtful yet honest words. 

There is a website I am a part of that has a forum section where you may ask for advice on modeling, photography, general industry/discussion, and of course critique. I grabbed my (nonexistent) balls and apprehensively accepted for all to tell me what I could improve on, what pictures to get rid of on my portfolio, and just an overall critique on my look. One forum thread in particular struck me though. It was something along the lines of "What are the chances of you getting agency signed on a scale from 1-10?". I was intrigued by this thread because well, I have absolutely no desire to get signed or contracted by an agency. I thought what the hell, can't hurt to ask.. maybe they'll actually say something good! Lets face it, I just don't meet the requirements as an agency represented or editorial model. But man, the reply I got on that thread was quite shocking! 

I already knew I was short enough, at 5'5" my best chance of surviving was to focus on the commercial market. I'm also obviously not 'skinny' enough… sorry I'm not sorry about that though, because I love sushi and Korean BBQ too much. But ONE comment that the original poster mentioned that kind of irked me was "At 23, you are too old". WAIT, it was more like "You are far too short, and at 23, you are too old." Hm. I would have never expected that. I really never took my age into consideration. I mean.. the height and weight I understand because you need to fit "sample sizes", but why should your age matter? I mean goodness, half of the strangers I meet think I'm 18. I got carded playing slots in Atlantic City and still get carded for drinks - which I used to get offended by. But I don't think I've ever been so taken aback by someone telling me I'm too old! 

Well. I guess Blink 182 was right. Nobody likes you when you're 23.

Now that's just among many other things I've been told about myself. "You photograph rather chunky/boxy", "You look quite thick in this picture", "This angle makes your legs look really short", "You should focus on different angles and poses to make yourself appear taller and skinnier", "Your face looks kind of awkward in that picture". Need I go on?
- Yeah, it gets pretty ugly.
But I knew what I was getting myself into. Sorta.

Eh. I'll make it. As much as these people can be so discouraging sometimes, I have to think about all the other people I'm doing it for. This is for the minority. Let's laugh it off. I'll keep on trucking.